Wednesday, May 11, 2011

ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

And there goes another semester of grad school. With summer ahead, you'd think I'd be pumped. I mean, I am, in a way. But it's also kind of depressing. It means that many of my pals are graduating, and I'm next. Transitional phases always depress me, which probably says something about my character.

For some people, "change" has a positive connotation. Heck, Obama built his entire campaign around it. But, I'm not one of those people. I'm typically an optimistic person, but I'm opposed to change. Change means things are different, and I guess I've never had it bad enough to want things to be different. Different is uncomfortable, even scary at times.

But it wasn't always like that, now that I think about it. I actually lived most of my life looking forward to change. As an 8th grader, I could hardly wait for high school. On my 15th birthday, I couldn't believe I had to live through another 365 days until I could get my permit, and then another 6 months on top of that before my license. I wanted to be 18; I wanted even more badly to be 21.

I do not want to be 25. Luckily, I have a solid 11 months to go, yet it shows the sharp shift in thinking that happens at a certain age. We live most of our adolescence wishing to grow up, and once we do, we struggle with it. At this point, any change that occurs (and lately it occurs quite often) simply means I'm that much closer to being a full-blown adult. I just ain't ready!

Will I ever truly be ready? Probably not. But there's no point in fighting it. Someone philosophical once said that the only constant in life is change, and it's so true. Change is inevitable.

That doesn't mean I can't complain about it, though.

No comments:

Post a Comment